


this love was out of control where did it go?

by bbyseoul



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band), 우주소녀 | Cosmic Girls | WJSN
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fraternities & Sororities, Gen, Light Angst, Single Parents, WJSN as a sorority a concept!, lapslock, this was MY best try AT doing Angst but i wanted to make the ending nice, unbeta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2018-08-24 14:05:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8374939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bbyseoul/pseuds/bbyseoul
Summary: jeonghan avoided this perfectly for 4 years





	

**Author's Note:**

> this was based off of my mom and my niece and how she's single handily been in this situation where not knowing how to tell her about her dad
> 
> ps this is unbeta like all my writing i think that's the term where i write in lowercase and whatnot

jeonghan tried to avoid this day for four years. he's been avoiding it perfectly fine he could say it was his speciality. 

but when he got a call from minghao's new preschool asking if his mom would be present for mother's day. jeonghan was hesitant to answer if somebody would go in her place.

jeonghan didn't have an bad relationship with minghao's mother. the love and admiration he has for her is out of this world. no matter how much he wanted to resent her, he could never do it.

"so what are you going to do?" jisoo asks as he uncaps a beer for jeonghan. 

"not sure mei qi always steps in for minghao's fill in mom. but i think she's out of town and i can't keep lying to him." jeonghan sighs, "it makes me feel like a bad parent."

"mei qi only steps in because she knows her and minghao could actually pass being related. you're not a bad parent if you're sheltering your loved one from being hurt." jisoo explains, "you're doing it for a reason."

jeonghan groans as he shakes his beer bottle, "he deserves to know who his real mother is."

"but does he deserves to be hurt in the end when she won't be involved?" jisoo asks with a serious tone, "you and i both know that she won't." 

"dude," jeonghan whines, "don't be like that."

jisoo pouts at him, "you and i both know that she wouldn't. she's living her life as you're living yours."

jeonghan flops onto his couch, the beer was tasting flat and he was tired of trying to drown his feelings out. he wanted to be honest because minghao deserves the world. 

but he didn't want to hurt minghao about meeting his actual mom. jisoo was right that his mother was living her own life happily without him for four years.

it does hurt that she has been living peacefully for four years without him. how could somebody live peacefully without minghao in their lives?

"so what are you going to do? you need to figure out and call his school." jisoo explains, "did you even speak with mei qi?"

jeonghan shakes his head, "do you think she's busy? she literally is in the same sorority." 

"shit is she really!? i forgot her and hansol and seungkwan are all around the same age. but i thought mei qi dropped that sorority when she joined?" 

jeonghan shrugs as he watches his phone buzz with a name he didn't think he'd see in awhile.

"it's her isn't it?" jisoo asks softly as if she could hear through the phone. 

jeonghan swiftly hits the accept call button then quickly typing speaker. he pointed at jisoo to sit with him. 

"jeonghan ah?" her voice chimes, jeonghan feels his skin prick at the sound of her voice. 

jisoo slaps at jeonghan's arm to regain his attention to the phone call.

"are you there? jeonghan? is my signal bad??" 

"no no! hi what's up?" he says shakily, "how are you?" 

"good but i had gotten a call from minghao's school for a Mother's Day thing?" she says softly, "do i really need to go to that?"

jeonghan sighs, he shouldn't be too surprised because it's her and she hasn't be involved in 4 years. he had randomly decided to put her contact on the emergency list and as another parent number. why did he do that if she wasn't going to own up to it? 

"it's been four years." jeonghan says, "you can't do it for one day?"

"because he doesn't need to know who i am." she mumbles, "he has you. he won't need me to be there for a day and then just run out." 

"why'd you even call me then? what was the point of contacting me? we haven't talked in 2 years and now you want to speak?!" jeonghan yells loudly, "you're wasting my time!"

he feels jisoo wrap his arms loosely around jeonghan's waist. he only does this when jeonghan is on the verge of tears. was he really crying over this?

"jeonghan ah... you've been doing so well with hao and you've been balancing him so well with school. you're an amazing father, you know that?" she says with a shaky voice

jeonghan sniffles loudly as he rubs his eyes, "you don't have to tell me something i already know."

"do you think it'd be okay if i went along with mei qi to this? she's already filled a role that i could never replace. she doesn't bring him to the house probably because im there right?" she asks, he could imagine a frown plastered on her face. 

"you're right. i don't care if you don't show up you just don't show up. if you come you're there." jeonghan says sternly, "are we done?" 

he hears a soft whimper before she mumbles a small yes before hanging up quickly. 

"you did well, jeonghan." jisoo whispers stroking his hair, "you did well."

"i am going to throw up! why does talking to her make me want to throw up?" jeonghan groans, "why!?"

jisoo strokes his hair till jeonghan calms down, "you won't have to see her till her and mei qi pick up minghao that day. okay? it's a whole week!"

jeonghan nods maybe the week would go by slow like it always does? he couldn't get his mind wrapped around seeing her in the next few days. 

but yet, jeonghan continues to have the absolute worse luck and the week goes by too fast. too fast to the point where he feels minghao flop onto his chest with a big smile.

"is mei qi noona coming today for mother's day, daddy?" minghao yells not knowing it's barely 6am.

"yea yea why are we up so early, hao?" jeonghan yawns as he hooks his arms under minghao to pivot him on his other side. 

minghao flops onto the mattress with even a bigger grin, "noona told me that another noona would be going with us?" 

"yeah! she is bringing a friend along is that okay with you, hao?"

"a friend of noona's is a friend of mine!" minghao says confidently, "right?"

"right! well since we're up early should daddy make breakfast?" jeonghan asks teasingly, "are can hao make us breakfast?"

"i am a big boy but not that big! i can get dressed but can you make breakfast?" minghao asks as he sticks his pinky out for a promise. 

jeonghan links his pinky around minghao's before helping out of bed. it was the day that jeonghan would see minghao's mother after 2 years and minghao seeing her in general. 

he didn't know how he'd act with her or how she'd act with him. they were strangers and didn't even know each other. 

"daddy! junhui and jisoo hyung are here!" minghao yells from the living room before sprinting into his room.

jeonghan rubs his eyes before opening the door to his two friends, "what's up?"

"hyung told me that she was coming over today?" junhui asks, he hands jeonghan a frankly large cup of coffee. 

"yeah her and mei qi will be here around 8 why are you guys up so early?" jeonghan questions as he allows them inside. 

jisoo and junhui take a spot at the table as they set their coffees down, "we came for moral support and we had a test!"

"plus we assumed little hao would be up by now. he loves this day doesn't he?" junhui retorts, "also who's making breakfast?"

jeonghan sighs with a soft smile, "it's me and i'm going to make pancakes!"

jisoo offers to help jeonghan because maybe he knew that jeonghan couldn't breathe. even in the middle of cooking jisoo asked junhui to help and told jeonghan to sit. was he that bad? 

minghao is finished getting ready by the time the food is done. he's wearing a cute little grey knit cap and a black hoodie and his jeans. he looked so cute and jeonghan couldn't believe how big his boy had gotten. 

"you got dressed all by yourself?" jisoo gasps as minghao climbs into the chair.

"yep! the pants took me awhile but i did!" minghao yells proudly, "i am almost 5!"

jeonghan coos as he pinches minghao's cheek before setting his food on a spider-man plate. minghao grins before drowning his pancakes in syrup. 

the four of them ate happily together and for awhile jeonghan's heart wasn't beating incredibly fast. it was relaxing to be able to not shake uncontrollably.

jeonghan helps minghao get his shoes on and tightens his backpack. jisoo and junhui sit on the couch as they wait for the doorbell to ring. it was near to 8 and they should be here any second.

jeonghan hears a soft knock and an audible giggle from the other side of the door. he waits awhile to open so he didn't seem too eager. 

"noona and you are?" minghao asks as jeonghan opens the door. 

"i'm xuan yi ... noona" xuan yi says with a soft smile, "nice to meet you, hao"

"only my family calls me hao!" minghao retorts quickly, "noona who is she?" 

"she's my friend, hao." mei qi giggles as she scoops up minghao into her arms. 

xuan yi, her hair was black as charcoal now rather than a soft brown. her skin was still fair and her enchanting green eyes were still so beautiful. 

jeonghan didn't even realize minghao has her high cheekbones and soft looking skin. he didn't get to even compare the two because she left a month after he was born.

"hi jeonghan ah," xuan yi says with a smile, "hi jisoo and junhui."

jeonghan didn't even realize that the two of them were hovered behind him. he felt their heavy breaths and jisoo's touch on his back. 

"say bye to daddy and the hyungs!" minghao says as he waves goodbye to the three, "see you later!"

xuan yi waves with cloudy eyes before jeonghan practically slams the door. he still couldn't wrap his head around how she lied so easily to minghao. how did she look him in the eyes and say she wasn't his mother? 

"hyung," junhui says quietly as he squats next to jeonghan. 

"do you need anything?" jisoo questions with a soft voice, "anything at all?"

"just for this day to be over." jeonghan replies as he stands up, "it already sucks."

jeonghan told jisoo and junhui he'd be okay for the rest of the day and said they can leave if they want. he had tests to study for and notes to do. he thought maybe he could use this free time to his advantage. 

hours felt like years as jeonghan rubs his temple as he sees it's only 11am. he had only been studying for 3 hours and it felt like six years. 

jeonghan hears a humming noise from the side of his room then it had become louder and louder buzz. he stretches across his bed to grab ahold of his phone. 

he sees mei qi's name flashing quickly on his phone. 

"hello?" jeonghan asks worriedly, "mei qi?"

"you need to come to the school now." mei qi says, "please you need to now."

jeonghan felt his heart drop slowly through his stomach, "what why what happened?" 

"he won't stop crying and he's kicking chairs and won't calm down. his teachers wanted us to call you and try to get you down here." mei qi whines, "he's really upset."

"why is he upset? is he hurt?!" jeonghan yells loudly, "what happened!?"

mei qi sighs, "he realized that xuan yi unnie was his mother."

jeonghan slammed the end call button and slid on his tennis shoes. he felt dizzy and couldn't find his car keys. his hands were shaking as he grabbed his apartment key and ran out.

he tried to call a taxi company but they said it'd take 15 minutes to get a taxi. he couldn't get ahold of jisoo or junhui but he knew the school was only a matter of minutes away. 

jeonghan starts to run as fast as he could to minghao's school. he wasn't too far from minghao because he knew it was the best to keep him close. 

his lungs ached and his throat was tightening as he slowly approached the school. he couldn't breathe and felt faint but he needed to go see minghao.

seeing the brick building top pushed jeonghan further to keep running. he stands foot in front of the building and pushes the doors open quickly. 

"where is....hewhereishe." jeonghan groans at the counter, "minghao."

"jeonghan!" xuan yi yells from the side door leading to the classes, her cheeks were flushed pink and her eyes were bright red. 

jeonghan nods before catching up with xuan yi leads him to the classroom, "he won't stop crying."

"how did he find out? did you tell him!?" jeonghan shouts, "what happened!?"

xuan yi flinches at his voice, "jeonghan ah he isn't stupid. he realized how i was treating him and taking care of him. he kept talking about how we were both chinese and how we both have xu in our name. he just connected it and asked if i was his mother."

"and he just started crying and asking 'where my mommy has been' and i couldn't contain myself and started apologizing." xuan yi cries, "this was such a bad idea." 

jeonghan rubs his eyes as he brushes past xuan yi to see an empty classroom where minghao and mei qi sat. 

he knocks on the door softly before entering, "hao?"

minghao turns his head to face jeonghan with a large pout resembling a kicked puppy. jeonghan squats and opens his arms waiting for minghao to come to him.

"i know you're sad, baby." jeonghan calls out softly, "come here please? daddy is sad too." 

minghao pulls himself up to stand straight before walking slowly to his father. his lips jutted out and he watches tears fall down minghao's cheeks

"daddy" he whines loudly, "why doesn't she like me?" 

"she gave me water like the other kids and would dap my face when i made a mess. even said i was her good little boy, that's what you say to me. only parents say that!" minghao cries as he presses his face deep in the crook of jeonghan's neck. 

he felt his sons tears dampen his shoulder as he rubs his back. he couldn't collect the words to say that'd comfort him because he was right. he couldn't tell his son that he was wrong about his mother. 

"is she coming back, daddy?" he whimpers, "she isn't is she?"

jeonghan swallows a dry breath as he holds minghao so he could look him in the eyes. his deer like eyes were puffy from tears, he sniffles loudly as he looks at jeonghan. 

jeonghan holds his sons face tenderly before thinking of what to say, "not sure, hao. but you have me and your hyungs and even your noonas. that's good right?" 

"he's right, hao! noona will always be by your side and love you always." mei qi says with a small smile, "i could never leave you." 

minghao sniffles loudly, "you promise?"

mei qi nods as she scoots closer to the two, "of course not. your father is right about your family. you have a family like no other! you have many brothers and sisters that care a lot about you!"

jeonghan nods as he wipes minghao's falling tears, "and you have me, hao. i might not be your mommy but i am your daddy who loves you very much." 

minghao rubs his fists against his eyes, "i love you too, daddy." 

jeonghan kisses minghao's head softly as he hugs him tightly. he feels mei qi's hand rub minghao's back in a comforting motion.

when the three finally left the class after setting everything back to normal. jeonghan doesn't see xuan yi waiting in the hall or the lobby of the preschool.

"did xuan yi leave?" jeonghan asks as he lifts minghao up further into his arms. he had tired himself out and completely fell asleep in his arms. 

"she told me to say that she was really sorry but couldn't stay around?" the desk woman mummers, "i am sorry."

jeonghan shrugs as he strokes minghao's hair, "i really am not surprised."

as the three walk to mei qi's car to see junhui, jisoo and hansol along with seungkwan waiting for them. he shushes them as they try to approach a sleeping minghao.

"how'd it go?" hansol whispers as he tries to nudge minghao awake a little.

minghao single handily uncoils himself from jeonghan to hansol's open arms. he sees hansol visibly try not to coo at his son as he hugs tightly. 

"it went ugly but he's okay." jeonghan smiles, "he's okay." 

and jeonghan watches his friends fight to see who'll ride with minghao and who wants to cuddle him at the apartment. jeonghan realizes something he should have realized awhile back. 

he wants minghao to surround himself with people who love him and he hopes minghao will never have to search far for happiness. that's his his wish for you.

**Author's Note:**

> hi i wanna apologize for not updating a lot of my stories yet. it's bc school and work have been draining and my energy and my writing energy is barely there anymore. ): 
> 
> i will work on writing more bc i have updates half finished but i will update as soon as i can!!


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